True Self/False Self

One useful concept for thinking about the life of faith is the “True Self/False Self.”  This concept has been articulated recently by Christian writers such as Thomas Merton, Richard Rohr, Basil Pennington, and others.  The key idea is that deep within us is our "True Self," the self who we were created to be.  When we begin to live out of our True Self, when we are in touch with our True Self, we will live with joy, energy, power, courage, conviction, decisiveness, compassion, and strength.  We will still make mistakes, and we will not live perfectly (life’s not about getting it perfect anyway); but we will hold our mistakes lightly.  We will not get offended very easily, we will not be defensive or self-protective or fearful or anxious about whether we’re going to be OK.

In short, living out of our True Self is a beautiful thing.

But growing up is hard, and in the process of growing up, all of us have developed various “masks,” various ways of trying to get what we want, various ways of trying to be what other people want us to be, and these “masks” have accumulated into a “False Self” that keeps us from living in touch with our True Self.

This development of the False Self happens rather easily, as we learn that when we act in certain ways, we get what we want (or what we think we want).  When we act in other ways, we don't get what we want.  And so, in order to get what we want (or again, what we think we want), we will act or speak in certain ways, even if it is just an act and not genuine or authentic.  

A general rule of thumb is that anytime we are preoccupied with concerns about what someone else thinks of us, fear about how something might go, or resentment over how something has gone, we are likely living out of the False Self, because our True Self knows that everything will be all right, because everything belongs to God.  Our True Self, which we might also call the Indwelling of the Holy Spirit, or Christ-in-us, is already deeply connected to God.  And whenever we are deeply connected to God, even if we must go through difficult circumstances, we will do so with a “peace that passes understanding.”

The great news is that we do not have to come up with our True Self.  We do not have to create our True Self.  It is already here.  It is already our deepest being.  We’ve simply lost touch with it.  It is as though our True Self is a diamond, buried in a field under layers and layers of dirt and rocks and other materials.  The diamond is already there.  When God created us in God’s own image, God put the diamond there.  It’s already there.  But it’s just been covered up by the layers of detritus that have accumulated over the years.  

The first step in moving towards our True Selves is to notice when we are living out of our False Self.  When are we tempted to put on a mask?  When do we try to impress other people?  When are we living out of resentment or fear or a need to control?  As we begin to notice these times, we can smile at ourselves, and say, "I don't have to live like this."  This is the first step.  Notice, smile, and begin to let go.

We'll talk more in a future post about ways we can let go of, or "die to" our False Selves.