We live in a time when there is enormous pressure on people to do well in life. "Achieve, perform, and succeed" is one of the key, unwritten mantras of our culture. Our culture tends to value only those who can produce and perform and win. "Winning isn't everything; it's the only thing" is not only applied to professional sports teams. It gets applied to all of us.
And this can be very, very hard on all of us.
This is not to encourage us to engage in self-pity. This is to recognize that "achieve, perform, and succeed" is a deathly formula that runs counter to the gospel and to any message of humane living.
As a counter-formula, I would like to propose, "It's OK not to be OK." My wife Laura taught me this saying, and it strikes me as exactly right. It's OK not to be OK.
This message means, "You are accepted. Just as you are, right now. Whether you're successful or not. Whether you've messed up or not. Whether your life is falling apart or not. You are accepted. Do not beat yourself up."
When followed, our culture's brutal, driving formulas of achievement may yield a competitive edge for some people. It may push some people to maintain a competitive edge. But that competitive edge comes at a deep cost. Those who are successful at this game of achievement can never pause to rest, because if they do, they might be overtaken by someone else. They've always got to keep running to stay ahead. And those who are not successful, those who cannot meet society's expectations, those who do not conform to society's formulas, these folks get pushed aside, rejected, and are told that they are no good.
But that is not true. You are accepted. Just as you are. It's OK not to be OK. God embraces you, accepts you, and can work through you just as you are, with all of your faults and foibles and quirks and failures. You do not need to beat yourself up when you mess up, or when things fall apart on you. It's OK not to be OK.
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