Following a Person, not a Rule

I don't know about you, but I like to know what I'm supposed to do.  Rules are reassuring to me; they show me what to do and what not to do; they tend to be very clear, black-and-white.  If I know what the rule is, then I can be more certain what I'm supposed to do.  

But the thing about the Christian faith is that we follow a Person, not a set of rules.

This is good news, and this is bad news.

This is bad news because following a Person is sometimes less clear, less obvious, and less certain than following a rule.  A rule is something you can know about in advance.  A rule is something you can have in writing.  A rule is something you can hide behind if others don't like what you're doing.  ("Why are you yelling at me?  I'm just following the rule.")

Following a person, on the other hand, won't necessarily tell you what to do ahead of time.  It requires you to trust the person.  To be willing to go where the person leads you.  Those of us who like absolute certainty and clarity are going to need to learn to let go of some of those things, and to embrace things like trust, risk, and willingness.

A rule can never love you.  A person can.  That makes all the difference.  In the case of Jesus (the Person in question), his love for us is the foundational promise.  "Jesus loves me (and you and you and you and you).  This I know."  If you make a mistake, a rule will crush you.  When you make a mistake, this Person will hold you and embrace you.  When you aren't sure that you have the necessary strength and courage to do something, a rule will threaten you.  This Person, however, will stand with you, hold your hand, and walk all the way through with you.

That's why this is really good news.  Disciples of Jesus are not following a set of rules.  We are following a Person.

Bearing our differences

One of the moments when "loving your neighbor as yourself" becomes challenging is when there are genuine differences of opinion between you and your neighbor.  When you believe strongly about an issue, and your neighbor believes the opposite, the question becomes, "What does love look like in this situation?"

What does it mean to love your neighbor who thinks differently from you?  Does it mean to try and convince them of your position?  Does it mean to defer to them and adopt their position?  Does it mean to say, "Let's agree to disagree," and then go your separate ways?  Does it mean to try and find a place of middle-ground where no one is really satisfied?

There may be times when each of these is appropriate, but I believe that another approach can be to honor your neighbor's perspective, and to honor your own perspective, at the same time.  This is a more patient approach that does not seek immediate results.  It calls on us to bear the differences between us, to hold the differences, to seek to be something of a container for the differences until a resolution presents itself.  If a resolution does not present itself, does not unfold immediately, then we stay connected to each other, holding our differences with as much respect and grace as we can.

This way may not produce immediate results.  Some will say that this way is not practical.  But this approach invites us to honor both sides of a disagreement, without force or capitulation.  It allows us to love our neighbor and to love ourselves, at the same time.