True Self/False Self

One useful concept for thinking about the life of faith is the “True Self/False Self.”  This concept has been articulated recently by Christian writers such as Thomas Merton, Richard Rohr, Basil Pennington, and others.  The key idea is that deep within us is our "True Self," the self who we were created to be.  When we begin to live out of our True Self, when we are in touch with our True Self, we will live with joy, energy, power, courage, conviction, decisiveness, compassion, and strength.  We will still make mistakes, and we will not live perfectly (life’s not about getting it perfect anyway); but we will hold our mistakes lightly.  We will not get offended very easily, we will not be defensive or self-protective or fearful or anxious about whether we’re going to be OK.

In short, living out of our True Self is a beautiful thing.

But growing up is hard, and in the process of growing up, all of us have developed various “masks,” various ways of trying to get what we want, various ways of trying to be what other people want us to be, and these “masks” have accumulated into a “False Self” that keeps us from living in touch with our True Self.

This development of the False Self happens rather easily, as we learn that when we act in certain ways, we get what we want (or what we think we want).  When we act in other ways, we don't get what we want.  And so, in order to get what we want (or again, what we think we want), we will act or speak in certain ways, even if it is just an act and not genuine or authentic.  

A general rule of thumb is that anytime we are preoccupied with concerns about what someone else thinks of us, fear about how something might go, or resentment over how something has gone, we are likely living out of the False Self, because our True Self knows that everything will be all right, because everything belongs to God.  Our True Self, which we might also call the Indwelling of the Holy Spirit, or Christ-in-us, is already deeply connected to God.  And whenever we are deeply connected to God, even if we must go through difficult circumstances, we will do so with a “peace that passes understanding.”

The great news is that we do not have to come up with our True Self.  We do not have to create our True Self.  It is already here.  It is already our deepest being.  We’ve simply lost touch with it.  It is as though our True Self is a diamond, buried in a field under layers and layers of dirt and rocks and other materials.  The diamond is already there.  When God created us in God’s own image, God put the diamond there.  It’s already there.  But it’s just been covered up by the layers of detritus that have accumulated over the years.  

The first step in moving towards our True Selves is to notice when we are living out of our False Self.  When are we tempted to put on a mask?  When do we try to impress other people?  When are we living out of resentment or fear or a need to control?  As we begin to notice these times, we can smile at ourselves, and say, "I don't have to live like this."  This is the first step.  Notice, smile, and begin to let go.

We'll talk more in a future post about ways we can let go of, or "die to" our False Selves.

Centering prayer...and a trip to the dentist

So last week, I went to the dentist.  Trips to the dentist do not make my list of "favorite things to do."  In fact, they're pretty far from making that list.  The part of the dental visit that is always the most unsettling for me is what I call "having my teeth scraped."  The American Dental Association website politely calls this the "removal of calculus and plaque from all surfaces of the teeth."  Who knew that calculus was anything other than a math subject?  Though I don't particularly enjoy the scraping removal of calculus and plaque, it is a key part of the trip to the dentist.  (Try and tell me the tools pictured below don't make you just a little nervous.)

As I was sitting there, having my teeth scraped cleaned, a phrase from Thomas Keating's beautiful book, Intimacy with God: An Introduction to Centering Prayer, popped into my head.  (You never know when something's going to pop into your head.)  Keating writes very helpfully about the practice of Centering Prayer, in which we simply present ourselves to God.  In this style of prayer, we don't try to fix anything, we don't try to solve anything, we simply expose ourselves to God's presence.  Keating writes, "Our only activity consists in maintaining our intention to consent to God's presence and action during the time of prayer."  All we do is present ourselves to God for the duration of prayer - the recommended time is 20 minutes - and allow God to work in us.  'Here I am, Lord.  Do with me what you will.'

As I sat there in the dentist's chair, I thought, "Hmm.  That's interesting.  That sort of feels like what I'm doing right now.  I am 'consenting to the action of the dental hygienist during the time of my dental visit.'"

All of a sudden, it felt like there were actually some similarities between the "time of prayer" and the "time of visiting the dentist."  (Seriously.)  Here are three.

(1) Both are aimed at our well-being and health.  Prayer is aimed at discovering and developing our True Self, our healthy self, who we are in relationship to God.  Prayer is aimed at our spiritual health. A dental visit is aimed at having healthier, cleaner teeth - which is to say, our oral health.

(2) Both involve submitting to a "higher power."  Prayer involves submitting to the Higher Power.  Centering prayer, in particular, is simply about making ourselves available to God, exposing and submitting ourselves to God's presence and work.  Analogously, a dental visit involves submitting to someone with greater skill and knowledge about healthy teeth.  Admittedly, this is not your "Higher Power," but it is a "greater power," at least in terms of teeth.

(3) Both paths - while they lead to greater well-being - may lead through uncomfortable territory.  This similarity held the greatest insight for me.  I was well aware of how a dental visit can be uncomfortable.  Many people cringe simply upon hearing the word "dentist."  But prayer is supposed to be relaxing and soothing, right?  Some of the time, yes.  But I began to realize that the life of prayer can also be uncomfortable, as we expose ourselves to the healing Spirit of God.  Over time, the life of prayer will expose and uncover many things in us: our defensiveness, our attachments and addictions to worldly things, our fears, our resentments, and more.  All of these things are blockages between us and God, and all of them can be healed and removed, so that we experience deeper union with God.  But removing these obstacles will not be easy or painless.  We will discover that we are, in fact, quite attached and accustomed to some of them, even though they keep us from God.  But when God removes them - even if that removal hurts - we will be more free, more healthy, more truly ourselves.

Could it be that "sitting in the dentist's chair" is a metaphor for the life of prayer?????

PRACTICES of Faith, not just Beliefs

Many of us are increasingly convinced that it is important for the church to emphasize practices of faith and not just what we believe.  Please don't get me wrong -- what we believe is fundamentally important.  Our beliefs about God, humanity, the world, and reality in general play a crucial role in how we think, how we act, and how we relate to God, to ourselves, and to others.

But if we only emphasize or talk about what Christians believe, it can lead to the mistaken impression that the Christian faith is a matter of the head.  The fact is that the Christian faith is located in our entire lives, not just in our heads.

Christians are not only people who hold particular beliefs (e.g., God's incarnation in Jesus, Jesus is Lord and Savior, sovereignty of God, etc.); Christians are people who are led to live in particular, recognizable ways because of what they believe.  There is a recognizable shape to the Christian life.  The Christian life can be seen in things like: spending time in prayer; loving your enemies; forgiving those who have done wrong to you; sharing your resources with others, especially the poor; protecting the weak and the vulnerable.

We may notice that these are things which may be done by people who do not profess Christian beliefs.  If we see non-Christians doing these kinds of things, we should always celebrate!  And if we see Christians not doing these kinds of things, we should be concerned, puzzled, and grieved.

We need to be clear that we do not engage in these sorts of practices in order to earn some kind of reward or in order to earn God's love.  God's love cannot be earned.  (That's why it's called "grace.")  These are just the kinds of things that happen when we live out the implications of our beliefs in the radically free grace of God.

These "practices of faith" -- things like forgiveness, generosity, loving one's enemy, speaking up for the defenseless, spending time in quiet prayer -- are not encouraged by our wider culture.  These practices are "counter-cultural."  That means that we may encounter resistance - both external and internal resistance - as we engage in them.  So we may ponder the question, "What can the church do to encourage and support people in their practices of forgiveness, enemy-compassion, generosity, justice, and prayer?"