Beyond Binary Thinking

The other day I heard someone described as a "humanitarian capitalist."  The phrase caught my attention.  The phrase contains two ideas - "humanitarian" and "capitalist" - that often do not go together.  "Humanitarians" are often thought to be people with "bleeding hearts" who want to take care of people.  "Capitalists," on the other hand, are often thought of as market-oriented people, who are aggressive and relentless in their pursuit of economic profit.  The two concepts can seem to be at odds with each other.  But this expression -- "humanitarian capitalist" -- puts them together.

This is an example of what I call "moving beyond binary thinking."  Our culture tends to thrive on binary/either-or thinking.  Black/white, good/evil, Republican/Democrat, pro-choice/pro-life, Yankees/Red Sox, rich/poor, clean/unclean, and on and on.  We fall into this kind of thinking because it is easy.  It is easy to know where you stand, and it is easy to know who's in and who's out, who's good and who's bad, who is safe and who is dangerous.  You divide people up into camps, and then you treat them accordingly.

The major problem is that binary/either-or thinking does not strengthen community with each other.  All we do is fight with, or avoid, people with whom we disagree.

A more unifying approach is to hold opposites together.  You take two things that seem to be in opposition to each other - two things that seem to be at opposite ends of the spectrum - and hold them together to see what new, creative thing comes forth.

Here's an example that I'm working with right now:  being an assertive listener.  Ordinarily, we keep these two things - "assertive" and "listener" - separate.  Many of us are either one or the other.  Some of us are good at being assertive.  We make our points, we know what we want, we are goal-oriented, we go after things.  Others of us are good listeners.  We sympathize with people, we can put ourselves in their shoes, we can imagine things from someone else's point of view, we make room for others to speak.  The 'Golden Goal' is to do both things at the same time.  Putting the two concepts together - being an "assertive listener" - evokes the image of being (1) deeply engaged in a conversation, (2) available, open and present to what the other person is saying, but also (3) willing to share one's own ideas and best thinking.  Assertive listening.

What other examples have you seen of unifying behaviors that bring opposites together in a fruitful, constructive way, rather than driving people apart?