Many Christians have a very difficult time loving themselves well. Some of this difficulty may be connected with negative experiences earlier in our lives - experiences of not being valued, cherished, honored by others who were important to us. We were given the message that we were not love-able.
But some of the difficulty may also be connected to the assumption that Christians, by definition, do not love themselves. They love others. If you love yourself -- according to this line of thinking -- you are being selfish and sinful. This way of thinking understands Jesus' comment (in Mark 12:30; Matthew 22:37; Luke 10:27) to be "love your neighbor more than you love yourselves." Or even, "love your neighbor instead of loving yourselves."
But Jesus - quoting Leviticus 19:18 - says, "Love your neighbor as yourself." We are to love our neighbors as though we were in their place. Love your neighbor the way you love yourself.
If we treat ourselves poorly -- if we neglect our own needs, if we ignore our own dreams and passions -- then we will likely treat others poorly, as well. We will be far more likely to resent our neighbor, to feel like we are being such holy martyrs, and we will not be much fun to be around. Others will be able to sense that we are not loving them whole-heartedly and joyfully and genuinely. We shouldn't be surprised if they don't appreciate it when they sense that we are thinking, "I am only loving you because I'm supposed to. Now you better be grateful!"
The question is, What does it look like to love yourself well?
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