Beginning. Again. All. The. Time.

Being a beginner at anything can be a little scary.  Whenever you're starting something new (or starting over at something), it can feel like everyone else knows more than you.  You go to a new class, or join a new group, or pick up a new hobby, and it can be easy for the thought to cross your mind, "I am a total idiot.  I don't know anything."  You can feel like everyone's looking at you (even if, in reality, they're not). 

It's enough to keep a person from starting anything new!  So we just keep doing the same things we've always done, in the same way, even if those things and those ways are not working for us anymore.

If you are like me and have trouble with any of this, I'd like to invite you to join me in adopting what some Buddhists call "beginner's mind."  This is a concept which suggests that in life, we are all beginners.  All the time.

Beginners do not assume they have figured everything out, but are interested in learning.  Beginners do not assume they already know everything about the people around them, but understand that people are mysterious and complicated and surprising.  Beginners come to life with curiosity and wonder and openness, rather than anxiety and control and resentment.  (Well, when it's put that way, who wouldn't want to be a beginner?)

Adopting "beginner's mind" requires a spirit of humility, for it requires you to acknowledge that you don't know everything.  It involves giving up the desire to seem like an expert.  It involves letting go of the appearance of having it all together. It involves the willingness to say, "I don't know the answer to this question, but I'm interested in working on it."

It also allows us to adopt a more forgiving stance towards ourselves.  When we acknowledge that we are beginners, we can be less hard on ourselves when we mess up.  Instead of beating ourselves up about our failures, we can say, "Gosh, it looks like I still have a lot to learn!  What can I learn from this mistake?"

The phrase "beginner's mind" has its primary roots in Buddhist philosophy and practice.  But Christians will notice that it sounds an awful lot like Jesus:  "Truly I tell you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God as a little child will never enter it" (Mark 10:15).  In order to embrace the kingdom of God, we must come to it as a little child.  Which is to say - as a beginner.  (Many of the deepest theological and human insights will have echoes and resonances across various traditions.  This is what Richard Rohr refers to as the "perennial tradition.")