Lent: A time for laying down our defenses

This Wednesday (March 5), Christians around the world will celebrate Ash Wednesday.  This day begins the 40-day journey of Lent to prepare ourselves for the events of Holy Week – Palm Sunday, Maundy Thursday, Good Friday, Holy Saturday, and Easter Sunday.  

The preparatory season of Lent is a time when we can reflect on, and ask God to deepen, our own commitment to God and God’s kingdom.  During Lent, we are invited to reflect on our own lives - in as honest a way as possible.  During Lent, we engage in the kind of practice that 12-step movements call a “searching and fearless moral inventory."

Our Lenten self-inventory is “searching” because we want to examine every part of our lives.  We want to look into the shadows of our lives, looking under all the rocks and hidden places inside of us, looking for all the places where we try to hide from God and God’s call on our lives. 

Our Lenten self-inventory is “fearless” because we can engage in this self-examination without any fear that we are going to find something that will make us unlovable to God.  There is nothing that can make God reject us.  Absolutely nothing can separate us from God (cf. Romans 8:38-39), not even the unsavory and unattractive parts of our lives.  God does not reject us, only accepts us.  We are profoundly and completely accepted by God, as we are.  God accepts, and is ready to heal, every part of us - even those parts of ourselves that we are ashamed of.  When we are willing to turn over to God those parts of our lives that we are afraid of, or ashamed of, God sets us free.

The sharp point of the Lenten invitation is that we are invited to lay down all the ways that we defend and protect ourselves.  Over the course of every day, in a whole variety of ways, we can guard and protect ourselves from other people, from events in the world, and from God.  From the time we are small children, we are taught to protect and defend ourselves.  “Keep your guard up.”  “Watch your back.”  “Eyes open, at all times.”  “Boys don’t cry.” “Don’t let others get mad at you.”  “It’s best to do everything yourself; that way, you can make sure nobody messes it up.”

These words of advice may serve us well if our primary life-goal is to 'stay safe' or 'be popular' or 'always be in control.'  But when we live by these and similar codes, we will be (1) reluctant to trust others (including God), (2) hesitant to share ourselves with others (including God), (3) inclined to avoid sharing our gifts with the world, and (4) tempted to see other people as threats rather than neighbors.

The Christian life is a journey of learning to live for the world, rather than living in fear of the world.  It is a journey of living with the world - in all of its pain and complexity and messiness - rather than trying to stay safe from the world.  We are invited this Lenten season to lay down some of our self-defenses, which may have helped to keep us safe in the past, but which have also bound us and held us back from a life of freedom and abundant love.

What is one way that you protect yourself from the world?  (If you’re like me, you may have a whole repertoire of ways to keep yourself safe!)  What is one way that you defend yourself against being vulnerable, guard yourself from being exposed to the thoughts and opinions of others?  Please do not beat yourself up about this, but simply begin to notice the times during the day when you go into “self-protection” mode.  When are you most likely to feel the need to self-protect?  What goes through your mind when you feel like this?  Can you notice some negative repercussions of this self-protective behavior?  What does it cost you, or take away from you?

As we become aware of these ways we protect and defend ourselves, we can ask God in prayer to help us lay them down.  We can ask God to help us let go of these defenses, so that our hands can be more open to share life with the world, instead of clutching on for our personal safety.  As we lay our fearful defenses down, we will walk into our lives with greater freedom, no matter what may come our way.